I grew up believing in Jesus, but I didn’t know my purpose. I grew up believing the stories in the Bible, but I struggled to believe them for myself. I was walking, living, and breathing with no real identity in God.

 I found my identity, value, and meaning in clothes, hair, makeup, status, my appearance, and boyfriends. I didn’t realize it then, but I liked the positive attention I received in my physical appearance. I struggled in school, I struggled to please my parents, and I struggled with feeling accepted so I found a way to gain fulfillment or attention. 

If you would have asked me then, I would have said I didn’t care about image. However, at 31 years old, I was diagnosed with a meningioma brain tumor. I have had three brain surgeries and radiation treatment to prevent further tumor growth. 

After my first surgery the left side of my eye looked different than the right. My left eye literally was bulging out, my left eyebrow was higher than my right, I had double vision, and a tear on my left cornea. 

I know God has helped me and I experienced a beautiful healing process from the inside out. God took His time on me and taught me to depend on Him, not my appearance. This was a growth curve for me. I never knew how much I depended on my appearance until it was changed and I could not use it. I had to dig deeper in God’s Word with faith. I had to believe the healing testimonies in the Bible for me. That’s when my belief in God wasn’t just a belief, but His Words became intimate with my soul. God has been breaking me apart and rebuilding me to reflect His beauty ever since.

I also had to learn I was not a victim of my circumstance. In this particular circumstance I didn’t sign myself up for a brain tumor. However, I grew to be determined not to allow this medical situation to bring me to a state of giving up or walking around with a bitter, jealous, or nasty attitude. We have to learn to accept the good God gives, but we also have to accept the bad. The bad or the things we don’t like is NOT an excuse to disregard God or be disobedient to Him. We are called to overcome with faith and action. 

Think about Job in the Bible. 

Reflect on your life. Maybe you’re struggling with circumstances you didn’t ask for; whether it’s people or things that have caused hurt, pain, anger, doubt, or fear. When we are dealing with toxic people, toxic environments, medical disappointments, financial stress, school stress, hurtful words, or any other pains we didn’t cause ourselves we still have choices to make. We can allow painful or hurtful situations to control our thoughts and actions, or we can ask God to help us overcome. 

We are supposed to be victorious in Christ. Our situations should NOT have control over our minds, hearts, and actions. Still praise Him, worship Him, and be obedient to Him despite your circumstances. 

One of the gifts of the Holy Spirit is self control. Always talk to God about what you’re going through and ask God for wisdom, knowledge, and understanding for the circumstance you’re facing. He is still in control despite who or what you’re dealing with! 

Activity

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY (Use your Activity Journal)

Who are you? 

What are your strengths & weaknesses?

Do you ever replay hurtful names or words other people have used to define or label you? 

Do you doubt yourself? 

Do you know the purpose and calling God has placed on your life? 

Who does God say you are? 

Read After You Answer:

I hope you know and believe God has a plan and purpose for your life. He gives you breath, and He allows you to be created for a reason. You have to allow God to move and hover over your soul and fill you with His Spirit. Learn to eat His Words and digest them as food and growth for your soul. Ask Him to fill you with His Holy Spirit. 

 Scripture:

Matthew 4:4 Nasb

4 But He answered and said, “It is written: Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes out of the mouth of God.’”

Encouragement:

We are not called to hide in caves or stay in a pit. We are all responsible to use God’s Word to mobilize us to a place of action. Our minds and hearts are prime real estate.

We are not a victim of our circumstances or a victim of the bad choices we have made. We need to seek God’s Word, repent of our sins, and forgive others. We have an opportunity to worship the Master and Creator of all! As believers in Jesus we are called to be the light to others. 

Assignment:

Build yourself in His Word, do not build yourself on your hurt, pain, or failures you’ve experienced. Find at least three promises in His Word for you to hold on to. Start meditating on His Word.

Joshua 1:8 NASB
8 This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it; for then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will achieve success.